


are any of us really alive at this point

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: All The Ships, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inappropriate Humor, Memes, Multi, No Plot/Plotless, No one is together yet, Strong Language, Texting, You either love or hate all of them, everyone is high probably, i don't have a life, i'll add specific ones soon tho, probably, they don't have a life either
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-06 00:19:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18839770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yet another original Danganronpa V3 group chat fic.





	1. the answer is no

**Author's Note:**

> Hi lol enjoy (and comment cough)

 

_Monday, 01:34_

 

_Kaito added Shuichi and 12 others to the chat._

 

 _Kaito named the chat_ **_Kiddos_ **.

 

 **Kaito** : hey guys

 

 **Maki** : why

 

 **Shuichi** : uhhh hey?

 

 **Kaito** : is it ok if we don’t add kokichi or korekiyo

 

 **Rantaro** : why and what is this even

 

 **Kaito** : i thought it’d be fun to make a groupchat for our class

 

 **Angie** : this seems fun!

 

 **Rantaro** : it’d be fair to add kiyo at least

 

 **Kaede** : True, kaito add him

 

 **Ryoma** : does he even own a phone

 

 **Tenko** : I bet not

 

 **Kaito** : it hasn’t even been five minutes and you guys already bringing the mood down

 

 **Kaito** : aaand i don’t have his number

 

 **Rantaro** : i’ll just add him jeez

 

_Rantaro added Korekiyo to the chat._

 

 **Rantaro** : here

 

 **Miu** : h i d e

 

 **Rantaro** : shut up

 

 **Korekiyo** : Hello?

 

 **Kaito** : oh mannn

 

 **Kaito** : ok we’ll survive

 

 **Miu** : that mood change tho

 

 **Gonta** : is thsihowit ext

 

 **Maki** : it isn’t

 

 **Gonta** : youysee this?yes??

 

 **Kaede** : You’re doing great, Gonta

 

_Shuichi added Kokichi to the chat._

 

 **Rantaro** : no

 

 **Miu** : no

 

 **Maki** : what the fuck  why the fuck saihara

 

 **Kokichi** : is this like discrimination or something??? bullying!!!

 

 **Kokichi** : stinky

 

 **Miu** : delete this bitch

 

 _Kokichi changed Miu’s name to_ **_cock goblin_ ** _._

 

 **cock goblin** : fucking midget ass bitch

 

 **Kokichi** : messy skank

 

 _cock goblin changed Kokichi’s name to_ **_A FUCKING RAT_ ** _._

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : try again bitch this is common knowledge

 

 **Kaede** : And this is why we don’t make group chats

 

 _Ryoma changed their name to_ **_god take my life_ ** _._

 

 **cock goblin** : mood

 

 **Angie** : god is not a joke ryowo :((((

 

 **god take my life** : ryo- what now

 

 _cock goblin changed god take my life’s name to_ **_a middleaged man_ ** _._

 

 **a middleaged man** : smh

 

 **Korekiyo** : I hope you won’t mind if I leave this chat.

 

 **Tenko** : We won’t

 

 **Korekiyo** : I’m glad

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Tenko’s name to_ **_feminazi_ ** _._

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Kirumi’s name to_ **_mommy owo_ ** _._

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Gonta’s name to_ **_Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru_ ** _._

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Kaito’s name to_ **_Makis doggo probably a poodle_ ** _._

 

 **Maki** : oh my god stop.

 

 **Makis doggo probably a poodle** : i won’t deny nor claim these accusations

 

 **mommy owo** : This is highly inappropriate.

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Korekiyo’s name to_ **_jeff the killer under dar mask_ ** _._

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed jeff the killer under dar mask’s name to_ **_jeff the killer in general_ ** _._

 

 **jeff the killer in general** : …

 

 **Kaede** : Kaito, did you want to talk about anything serious here?

 

 **Makis doggo probably a poodle** : the exam answers

 

 **Makis doggo probably a poodle** : jk let’s just have some fun

 

 **Rantaro** : that won’t happen while kokichi is here

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : bully

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : stinky

 

 **Tsumugi** : is no one mentioning how it’s 1 am on a monday???

 

 **cock goblin** : no

 

 **Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : Kirumi taught me how to text over something called DM ^.^

 

 **Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : Oh no this username not nice!

 

 **Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : Not true either! :(

 

 **Angie** : awww this is making me and atua sad :(((((

 

 **feminazi** : he probably deserves it smh

 

 **a middleaged man** : this.

 

 **a middleaged man** : this is the moment when tenko became invalid.

 

 **feminazi** : shut up i’m going to sleep

 

 **cock goblin** : shes going to fuck himiko*

 

 **feminazi** : !!!!!!

 

 **Angie** : oooh no, atua doesn’t approve the direction of this conversation!

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : tenko fucks himiko daily

 

 **cock goblin** : more like hOmoko ami right???

 

 **Rantaro** : too far, my dear children, too far

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Rantaro’s name to_ **_father rantaro_ ** _._

 

 **father rantaro** : feeling violated hours

 

 **a middleaged man** : i have them 24/7 so shut it

 

 **jeff the killer in general** : I’m going offline. If you spam during the night, I-

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : ok it’s decided we spam during the night

 

 **jeff the killer in general** : You-

 

 **father rantaro** : i’m going too bye

 

 **cock goblin** : legend says the people who leave at the same time are going to fuck each other

 

 **father rantaro** : ;)

 

 **cock goblin** : holy shitballs

 

 **Shuichi** : okay i’m going

 

_Monday, 01:55_

 

 **Shuichi** : ah, well, this was awkward

 

 **cock goblin** : the desperation

 

 **Kaede** : Aw Shuichi you’re adorable :)

 

 **Kaede** : I’ll leave too dw

 

 **Kaede** : WAIT I READ IT AS ARE GOING TO CUDDLE EACH OTHER FRICK-

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : frick

 

 **Kaede** : don’t start with me

 

 **Tsumugi** : ahhh my mom heard me laughing at the messages, help!!!

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Tsumugi’s name to_ **_hello 911?_ ** _._

 

 **hello 911?:** not funny----

 

 **hello 911?** : i’m going to bed .-.

  


_Monday, 04:20_

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : rattata wake the fuck up

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : asdajksadjfhask rantaro*

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : i bet he’s high rn

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed mommy owo’s name to_ **_dance moms_ ** _._

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Himiko’s name to_ **_Homie Co_ ** _._

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Kiibo’s name to_ **_lil dicky wait no-_ ** _._

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Angie’s name to_ **_at-choo-a_ ** _._

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Maki’s name to_ **_DDLG_ ** _._

 

 **a middleaged man** : stop

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : a friend !!! :3 finally !!

 

 **a middleaged man** : a corpse !!! if you don’t shut up in 5 seconds !!

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : omg ellen you didn’t

 

 **DDLG** : i’m. going. to. kill. you.

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : hey it’s 420 it’s all in good spirit uwu

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed Makis doggo probably a poodle’s name to_ **_daddy long legs_ ** _._

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : wait no

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed daddy long legs’s name to_ **_mommy wide thighs_ ** _._

 

 _A FUCKING RAT changed jeff the killer in general’s name to_ **_daddy long legs_ ** _._

 

 **father rantaro** : are you implying that kaito and kiyo are-

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : cole sprouses tweets are shaking

 

 **father rantaro** : smfh a riverdale fan

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : oh no i’ve been naughty :(( is father going to punish me :((

 

 **father rantaro** : not even with a stick as long as 420ft

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : well fuck u too you don’t even own a stick that long

 

 **father rantaro** : don’t i ;)

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : omg ellen you didn’t

 

 **DDLG** : FUCKING GO TO BED

 


	2. ruthless, my style as a juvenile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy

 

 

_Monday, 07:12_

  


**Kiddos**

  


**daddy long legs** : I’m afraid I must go full Jeff the killer on our dear friend Kokichi today.

 

**father rantaro** : do it

 

**DDLG** : enjoy every second

 

**mommy wide thighs** : AAUHSAHDGWYSUHUAEWJDSGAUWAIKDHUWJK

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : daddy long lecks is stinky :(((

 

**dance moms** : Oh my lord.

 

**father rantaro** : that’d be me

 

**cock goblin** : pope doesn’t equal god dumbass

 

**father rantaro** : it does.

 

**lil dicky wait no-** : I didn’t even do anything-

 

**Shuichi** : am I the only one with a normal name…?

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : we can change that :3

 

_A FUCKING RAT changed Shuichi’s name to_ **_fucking the fucking rat_ ** _._

 

**fucking the fucking rat** : one day, kokichi.

 

**fucking the fucking rat** : one day i’ll snap.

 

**father rantaro** : *holds up a megaphone* all the other kids with the pumped up kicks-

 

**hello 911?** : roleplaying, yes!

 

**hello 911?** : *does a cartwheel in the school hallway* You’d better run, better run!

 

**a middleaged man** : *presses a loaded gun to his head* outrun my gun.

 

**at-choo-a** : *kneels at an altar* dear atua, all the other kids with the pumped up kicks will suffer if they don’t believe in worshipping you.

 

**cock goblin** : angie: *gets up from the altar in the middle of the courtyard and pulls out a fucking machine gun* YOU BETTER RUN YOU CHRISTIAN BITHCES

 

**daddy long legs** : Oh my god.

 

**father rantaro** : you called?

 

**daddy long legs** : Take me out of here. With a gun.

 

**father rantaro** : i can’t drive a gun but i can pick you up for breakfast in 10 mins with my car?

 

**daddy long legs** : I’ll be there.

 

**cock goblin** : ok that was fucking adorable

 

**hello 911?** : agreed

 

**fucking the fucking rat** : back to our gReat story…

 

**fucking the fucking rat** : *steps in front of angie* I AM FAILING PE I AM IN NO WAY FASTER THAN YOUR BULLET PLEASE PULL THE TRIGGER

 

**a middleaged man** : *pushes the man who likes bestiality out of the way* i bought the fucking pumped up kids now shoot me coward

 

**at-choo-a** : oooh, so many people showing interest in angie !! perhaps atua took over my earthly body?

 

**fucking the fucking rat** : *throws ryoma out a window* IDC WHAT GOD YOU ARE JUST DON’T LET ME OUTRUN YOUR GUN

 

**a middleaged man** : you think you have the strength, skeleton?

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : oh my god saihara if you wanted to feel a pressure against your backside that much you should’ve just called me

 

**mommy wide thighs** : SAUYDFGADSKYGCVIAEUKGSEDHGFUAYEWSCHGUYEWJS

 

**DDLG** : well great, now kaito got shot

 

**a middleaged man** : fucking kaito stole my fucking faith

 

**Kaede** : I- I don’t know whether to laugh or cry right now

 

**DDLG** : both

  


_Monday, 09:35_

  


**mommy wide thighs** : pssst someone lend me the notes

 

**DDLG** : do you ever… focus.. in class?

 

**mommy wide thighs** : says the girl who responded to me

 

**DDLG** : ok.. fair point

 

**mommy wide thighs** : soooo…. notes?

 

**at-choo-a** : i’ve got them :3

 

**mommy wide thighs** : you’re at the back of the class tho.. i was put in the front ugh

 

**at-choo-a** : nothing is a problem when i’ve got Atua on my side ! ^.^

  


_Monday, 09:37_

  


**A FUCKING RAT** : OH MY GOD

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : AISUHDSJAKD   


**father rantaro** : I FUCKING CAN’T

 

**Kaede** : OH MY GODDDD

 

**cock goblin** : im dyIN’

 

**Homie Co** : what’s going on… i’m not in the same class…

 

**feminazi** : me neither???

 

**father rantaro** : ANGIE

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : NO I’LL TELL THEM

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : SO ANGIE

 

**mommy wide thighs** : IT WASN’T FUNNY I WAS THROWN OUT OF CLASS!!!

 

**DDLG** : it was so funny

 

**Homie Co** : come on just tell us

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : OK SO

 

**Kaede** : ANGIE STOOD UP FROM HER SEAT AND THREW HER DAMN NOTEBOOK ACROSS THE GODDAMN CLASSROOM SO IT HIT KAITO IN THE HEAD AND THEY WERE BOTH THROWN OUT

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : …

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : when pumped up kicks starts playing at the school dance, akamatsu, you’re fucking first

 

**father rantaro** : WAIT THAT’S NOT THE WHOLE THING   


**father rantaro** : THE WHOLE FUCKING NOTEBOOK LANDED ON KAITOS HEAD ADJWHASIU

 

**father rantaro** : HE DIDN’T REALISE IT AT FIRST AND JUST STOOD THERE FOR A MOMENT WITH A FUCKING NOTEBOOK IN HIS HAIR UNTIL ANGIE YELLED RLY LOUD THAT ATUA’S ABANDONING KAITO IF HE DOESN’T APPRECIATE HIS ADVANCES AND THEN KAITO YELLED ATUA TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND THEN HE JUST NOTICED THE NOTEBOOK-

 

**father rantaro** : erhaiurifsuhiaewl i ca’t breathe-

 

**daddy long legs** : Ahhhh, the rest of the class is staring ut all of you laughing-

 

**feminazi** : oh my god

 

**feminazi** : kaito tf how much hair gel do you use-

 

**mommy wide thighs** : well excuse me that angie is crazy!!!

 

**at-choo-a** : i’m ignoring that you meanie :((

  


_Monday, 09:40_

  


**Kaede** : So we were all thrown out of class

 

**father rantaro** : fucking worth it

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : fuck this i’m getting snaccs, y’all want anything?

 

**feminazi:** you’re all fr in the same hallway why are you texting

 

**Homie Co** : nyehhh, bring me candy I’m starving

 

**cock goblin** : fuck u i can buy my own damn food

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : prostitution is not an acceptable method of payment anymore, miu

 

**mommy wide thighs** : SGHDUACAUADUIUSDFSHJ

 

**Kaede** : Okay bye I’m dead

 

**cock goblin** : i hope your aware that when you want milk you won’t get it from saihara’s dick fucking dumbass btich

 

**mommy wide thighs** : STOP IT IM GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACKOIEDJECIO

 

**fucking the fucking rat** : oh no….

 

**cock goblin** : okay there he is

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : milk doesn’t come from kayday’s titties either miu :’(

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : wait no-

 

**Kaede** : Kokichi isn’t it your bedtime yet?

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : it’s 9am

 

**Kaede** : Exactly

 

**A FUCKING RAT:** smh

 

**daddy long legs** : Take Miu with you.

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : no she can rot

 

**cock goblin** : sTInky

 

_Monday, 11:22_

  


_Kaede added Kaito and 7 others to the chat._

  


_Kaede named the chat_ **_Rantaro’s birthday_ ** _._

  


**Kaede** : Guys let’s meet up for lunch

 

**Maki** : Rantaro’s birthday is soon…?

 

**Kaito** : isn’t it like not until the start of october?

 

**Korekiyo** : Well it is the end of September right now…

 

**Kaede** : Exactly, we have to plan a party!

 

**Kokichi** : wow kayday actually added me to a chat :’D

  


_Kokichi changed 8 names._

  


**A FUCKING RAT** : i’m honored

 

**daddy long legs** : Okay, so his birthday is on October 3rd.

 

**Kaede** : Yeah

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : omg

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : rantaro was born on mean girls day

 

**mommy wide thighs** : kokichi no

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : kokichi yes

  


_Kaede removed A FUCKING RAT from the chat._

  


**DDLG** : thank you.

 

**fucking the fucking rat** : anyways the party?

 

**Kaede** : Yeah I thought we could have it at either mine or kiyo’s place..? On his bday of course

 

**Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : This sounds fun! Gonta is excited to be there ^.^

 

**a middleaged man** : you pure bastard

 

**Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : Thank you?

 

**daddy long legs** : Your house sounds good.

 

  
**dance moms** : I can help with anything you need.

 

**Kaede** : Great, let’s keep it a surprise!

 

**mommy wide thighs** : no one tell kokichi about it or you’ll die

 

**a middleaged man** : i’d never talk to him out of my own free will

  


_Monday, 11:27_

  


**Kiddos**

  


**A FUCKING RAT** : Kaede is stinky

 

**Kaede** : No u

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : .

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : you may have won this argument akamatsu but i’m not done

 

**father rantaro** : i think i’m being bullied

 

**feminazi** : serves you right

 

**father rantaro** : kiyo, kaede and others won’t let me eat lunch with them

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : cos ur stinky

 

**father rantaro** : *pulls out an uno reverse card* no u

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : well fuck u too

 

**Kaede** : The table doesn’t have enough space sorry :(((

 

**father rantaro** : ffs kaito’s laying on one of the seats

 

**mommy wide thighs** : exactly not!!!enough!!!space!!!!

 

**father rantaro** : y’all making me eat with cockitchi

 

**daddy long legs** : I apologize

 

**Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : Gonta is sorry!!

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : ew no go away

 

**father rantaro** : shut the fuck up and eat your sour patch kids

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : :((

  


_Monday, 23:23_

  


**cock goblin** : well this bitch died

 

**A FUCKING RAT** : bc u came online

 

**cock goblin** : shut it twink

 

**hello 911?** : We should make a roleplay chat!!!

 

**DDLG** : no

 

**hello 911?** : but- but we could make ocs and then rp daily and create some fun ships and hcs :))

 

**mommy wide thighs** : i… didn’t understand anything of what you just said we-

 

**father rantaro** : someone delete tsumugi

 

**hello 911?** : wait no-

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so their names are
> 
> kiyo - daddy long legs  
> kaito - mommy wide thighs  
> rantaro - father rantaro  
> kokichi - A FUCKING RAT  
> kirumi - dance moms  
> miu - cock goblin  
> gonta - Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru  
> himiko - homie co  
> tenko - feminazi  
> ryoma - a middleaged man  
> angie - at-choo-a  
> maki - ddlg  
> kiibo - lil dicky wait no-  
> tsumugi - hello 911?  
> shuichi - fucking the fucking rat
> 
> would y'all enjoy like an actual plot? sksj


	3. legit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> legend says i do not know

  
  
  


_Tuesday, 02:58_

  


**Kiddos**

  


**cock goblin** : i just realised

 

 **cock goblin** : both kiyo and rantaro have the word daddy or father in their names

 

 **cock goblin** : and like,,,, i cant disagree?????????

  


_Tuesday, 07:02_

  


**daddy long legs** : Why must you be like this…?

 

 **father rantaro** : i mean she ain’t wrong

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : can someone give me a ride to school

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : i can ride you

 

 **fucking the fucking rat** : come again???

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : ride you to school* gosh darn pressed send too early

 

 **fucking the fucking rat** : YOU DON’T HAVE A CAR-

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : um thanks kokichi? but i’m good

 

 **cock goblin** : siajowiwfjeaowkijseirf

 

 **a middleaged man** : day 6665 of wishing i was dead

 

 **daddy long legs** : Day 6665 of wishing I was Jared, 19*

 

 **father rantaro** : there’s no way in hell kiyo just quoted a vine

 

 **father rantaro** : i’m a proud father

 

 **cock goblin** : daddy***

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : asudhiekldsj moving on can someone give me a ride to school? IN A CAR?

 

 **father rantaro** : sorry i don’t own one, i don’t even like cars

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : YOU GAVE KOREKIYO A RIDE YESTERDAY-

 

 **father rantaro** : payback for excluding me from having lunch with you guys

 

 **father rantaro** : bitch

 

 **father rantaro** : anyways kiyo will you be ready in 10?

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : HE EXCLUDED YOU TOO HSGDUYAHDBGUIHDEUA”ED

 

 **DDLG** : Stop killing Kaito challenge

 

 **Kaede** : Stop all the sexual innuendos in this chat challenge

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : oh kaede

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : sweet, innocent kaede

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : you know there’s no way in hell that’ll happen

 

 **Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : Gonta can give you a ride, Kaito ! ^_^

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : thank god, thanks man!!!!

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : do you even fit in a fucking car

 

 **Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : You get a ride too, if you want! :)

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : like i’d need a ride from the damn minotaur

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : if you insist you can come pick me up tho

 

 **at-choo-a** : may i get a ride too ? atua will be happy :3

 

 **Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : Of course!

 

 **father rantaro** : this went from sexual to pure real quick

 

 **a middleaged man** : the effect gonta has on people

 

 **Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : Anyone else up for a ride ? :))

 

 **dance moms** : I may join you, just in case.

 

 **Kaede** : Same ^.^

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : shotgun fuckers

 

 **dance moms** : Language

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : swhowotgwun fwuckwerws owouwu*

 

 **DDLG** : somehow, that’s much worse

  


_Tuesday, 11:15_

  


**father rantaro** : day 2 of me being excluded from lunch

 

 **at-choo-a** : i’m not there either :(

 

 **father rantaro** : do you even go to our school

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : sHE DOEsn’t eVen Go HeRe-

 

 **at-choo-a** : meanies .-.

 

 **hello 911?** : if it helps, i’m not there either

 

 **father rantaro** : ok yea but fucking kokichi is there

 

 **Kaede** : Yeahh,, Kaito is sitting normally today so we had space for Kokichi

 

 **father rantaro** : i-

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : sorry bro

 

 **father rantaro** : i have no friends

 

 **father rantaro** : you have been fired

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : we have been promoted to customer*

 

 **Kaede** : What does that even mean-

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : it means that rantaro works at retail what’s the problem

 

 **cock goblin** : whathefuckisgoingonnnn

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : james charles dies in endgame

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : oh you think you pulled a sneaky one there, didn’t you?

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : WELL GUESS WHAT NOT ALL OF US HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE AND WOULD LIKE NOT TO BE SPOILED SO PLEASE, GO JUMP INSIDE THE NEAREST TRASH CAN AND ROT

 

 **DDLG** : wait for it…

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : OH

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : retarded until the end i see

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : IEUAFJIDOAWSKL I THOUGHT JAMES WAS SOME SUPERHERODIUJosfjghreijof

 

 **father rantaro** : uncultured swine

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : i don’t know if i should be fucking wheezing or digging your grave

 

 **a middleaged man** : once you reach the correct level of intellectuality, you can do both at the same time

 

 **daddy long legs** : Amusing how I actually thought we’d talk during this lunch break

 

 **father rantaro** : this is a wild thought but hmmm maybe someone you guys excluded would be willing to talk

 

 **hello 911?** : i think rantaro will snap soon

 

 **father rantaro** : you’re gosh darn right

 

 **Kaede** : Sorrryyy Ran but we’re discussing secret stuff

 

 **father rantaro** : with kokichi-

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : okay fine geez we’re talking about our periods, your point???

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : excuse me if i’m fucking ovulating and needed some emotional support from people who fucking understand you fucking meanie

 

 **feminazi** : I-

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : SHUICHI AND ME ARE RIGHT HERE I-

 

 **daddy long legs** : And so am I…?

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : i mean i wasn’t sure

 

 **daddy long legs** : What are you implying-

 

 **father rantaro** : kokichi what the fuck

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : i have the right to be emotional right now

 

 **DDLG** : oh god, he’s actually crying

 

 **A FUCKING RAT** : rantaro is a sexist degenerate male who doesn’t support periods or women’s rights

 

 **at-choo-a** : did tenko hack your phone ;((

 

 **feminazi** : I DONT SOUND LIKE THAT

 

 **a middleaged man** : this conversation cured my depression

 

 **a middleaged man** : jk but nice try

  


_Tuesday, 11:32_

  


**Rantaro’s birthday**

  


**daddy long legs** : I know this is a wild suggestion, but perhaps we should go back to planning the party

 

 **fucking the fucking rat** : i agree

 

 **Kaede** : Me too

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : kick kokichi out from the table

 

 **Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : that’s swowo fwuwckwing mweawn

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : ????????

 

 **Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru** : gowonta iws a bwig duwummy

  


_Kaede has deleted Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru from the chat._

  


**Kaede** : This is why we’ll all be in a psych ward before we reach 30

 

 **a middleaged man** : i’m already there, your point?

 

 **mommy wide thighs** : adhusfagikwople

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so their names are
> 
> kiyo - daddy long legs  
> kaito - mommy wide thighs  
> rantaro - father rantaro  
> kokichi - A FUCKING RAT  
> kirumi - dance moms  
> miu - cock goblin  
> gonta - Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru  
> himiko - homie co  
> tenko - feminazi  
> ryoma - a middleaged man  
> angie - at-choo-a  
> maki - ddlg  
> kiibo - lil dicky wait no-  
> tsumugi - hello 911?  
> shuichi - fucking the fucking rat

**Author's Note:**

> ok so their names are
> 
> kiyo - daddy long legs  
> kaito - mommy wide thighs  
> rantaro - father rantaro  
> kokichi - A FUCKING RAT  
> kirumi - dance moms  
> miu - cock goblin  
> gonta - Fucks bugs and it rimes so its tru  
> himiko - homie co  
> tenko - feminazi  
> ryoma - a middleaged man  
> angie - at-choo-a  
> maki - ddlg  
> kiibo - lil dicky wait no-  
> tsumugi - hello 911?
> 
>  
> 
> sskfdjs idk what this is


End file.
